Thursday, October 28, 2010

Full House

                I’m no Rachael Ray but lately I’ve been making a more zealous attempt at expanding my dinner rotation list.  (Pizza, Tacos, Steak Sandwiches, Wings)  I spend hours reading recipe after recipe trying to find an agreeable menu that is not so complicated.  And boyfriend offers limited guidance…so it’s all up to me.

Boyfriend: “What’s for dinner?”
Me: “What would you like?”
Boyfriend: “I’ll eat whatever.”
Me: *Sigh*

                So a couple weeks ago I found a breaded pork chop recipe. Looked simple enough.  Went to Wegmans, got everything I needed and headed to boyfriend’s house to make it.  The instructions told me to put it on the stove in oil, on medium for 6 minutes on each side.

                As an aside, boyfriend has two dogs.  Sometimes I like them.  But while I’m cooking they are baby gated outside of the kitchen.  You should also know that one of the dogs permanently wears a giant plastic cone on his head.  (That’s a whole other story we can save for a different day.)

                Back to pork chops.  Well either the instructions concept of medium heat or perception of time differ significantly from mine, and in less than 6 minutes, while I went to change into comfy clothes, my pork chops were billowing smoke.  Well of course this sets off the smoke detector (which I had insisted he put new batteries in), startling the dog in the cone which makes him knock over the baby gate into the kitchen and try to get under the kitchen table. Meanwhile boyfriend is dragging a chair to get the batteries out of the smoke alarm and rushing to open all the windows.  

                I picked off the burnt breading and it turns out the chops were salvageable – and mostly tasty to be honest with you.  But when a couple of friends, with more experience in the kitchen than I, suggested I use my crock pot the next time I attempt pork, I took their advice.  Turns out, while I can create pandemonium cooking on the stove, I can’t screw up pulled pork.  And lucky for me, boyfriend means it when he says “I’ll eat whatever.”

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Top 10 at 10

As I discussed previously – I am a mostly non-discriminatory music listener.   Well perhaps diverse would be a better word.  Because I certainly do discriminate from time to time and after listening to Kiss 98.5’s Top 10 at 10 on my way home this evening I have some thoughts regarding some of the current top 40 playlist.

1.       Firework –Katy Perry
“Boom, boom, boom, even brighter than the moon, moon, moon”
                No wonder they didn’t let you air your Sesame Street episode, Katy.  Boom and moon don’t rhyme.  (I’ll let it go this time.  But only because I love your voice.)

2.       Mine – Taylor Swift
“You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter.  You are the best thing that's ever been mine.”
Love you Taylor, but on the country station.  Please stay where you belong.

3.       Like a G6 – Far East Movement
“Now I'm feelin so fly like a G6.”
I don’t even know what a G6 is.  And to be honest.  I don’t even care enough to Google and find out.   And I Google EVERYTHING.

4.       Dynamite – Taio Cruz
“Cause I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gon' light it up
Like it's dynamite”
Ugh.  Please never play this song ever again.  Ever.

5.       Just A Dream – Nelly
“it was only just a dream...”
        Welcome back Nelly.  Welcome back.

6.       Only Girl – Rihanna
” Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world
Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love
Like I'm the only one who knows your heart”
Sorry Rihanna.  I only like you when you’re singing with someone else.  Like Eminem.  

7.       Just The Way You Are – Bruno Mars
“She’s so beautiful and I tell her every day…”
This song disappoints me.  I hear the piano introduction and think I’m really going to like this song.  And then this guy starts singing…

8.       Club Can’t Handle Me – Flo Rida
“The club can’t even handle me right now.”
I love Flo Rida.  Or his two songs that have been on the radio.  

9.       I Like It – Enrique Iglesias
“Baby, I like it…”
Haha.  Oh Enrique.  

10.   Raise Your Glass – Pink
What's the dealeo?
I love when it's all too much
5 AM turn the radio up
Where's the rock and roll?”
Keep ‘em coming Pink.  Keep ‘em coming.  

Friday, October 22, 2010

In A Perfect World...

  • I wouldn’t even need to own a winter coat.  (I much prefer my cool weather jacket)
  • settings 1-2-3 for the blower would work in my Tucson.  (All or nothing is not ideal with it comes to heat and defrost.  And also 4 is really loud)
  • speaker phone would never have been created.
  • men’s pants would not come with a pleated option.
  • I could eat Cold Stone Creamery for dinner every night.
  • every Friday would be jeans day at work – free jeans day.
  • perfume and cologne bottles would have the same one-spray mechanism found on Fabreze Air Fresheners.
  • my apt would have a dishwasher.
  • daily business hours would be 9-3.
  • I could go on a long tropical vacation.
  • a couple glasses of wine during and after dinner wouldn’t ruin the following day in its entirety.
  • I’d manage to drag myself to work on time.
  • actually – I wouldn’t have to work.
  • I wouldn’t live a weekend away from my darling niece.
  • I’d pay for DVR.
  • boyfriend would let me paint his bathroom gray.
  • the Yankees would have already won the ALCS.
  • I’d have a brilliant costume idea for Halloween.

But it is Friday and that makes me happy.  And the fam posted pics of this little one and that makes me super happy. :) 

Thursday, October 21, 2010

If You’re Not Cheatin’ You’re Not Tryin’?

                Once upon a time, my dear sister and I did not get along as well as we do today.  Probably because we shared a bedroom.  We learned later in life this is a disastrous arrangement.  So much so that she shared a room with all the little kids – just so we could maintain our relationship or was that because I may or may not have been somewhat of a brat?    She was too kind to me – or so I thought.

                On occasion, when us kids were not outside playing truly enlightened games such as “Around-the-Garage Tag” we would break out a board game.  Now being the unusually careless children that we were, meant that no one board game kept all its pieces together.  Actually, the box rarely stayed in one piece.  Therefore, the only games we could effectively play were ones that the pieces were more or less inter-changeable.   Like Yahtzee.  All the dice don’t need be from the same package and you can keep score on a random piece of paper if you so choose.  Plus Sister really liked the game – so sometimes I agreed to play.

                Personally, I liked to play games I knew I’d beat her at – in the nature of true sibling rivalry.  And our games always were pretty competitive.  Up until the point when I’d go get a drink of water or something and I’d come back to see Sister had rolled a Yahtzee.  This happened more than twice.  And no, I never suspected a thing.  Years later, maybe even a decade, she informed me of her winning strategy.  She may have even enjoyed that conversation more than “winning” the games. 

              How was I to know?  There was a time I thought we were all excellent rule followers.  It’s ok.  I still love her – that little con artist. 

Friday, October 15, 2010


               Most of you are familiar with the 90’s late afternoon programming on ABC, TGIF.  Full House, Step by Step, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Family Matters and Boy Meets World – to name a few.  Personally, I had to Google that list.  Actually – any references I recognize originating from television during my growing up years is the result of dedicated periods of playing catch-up during college. 
               Why?   No I wasn’t raised Amish.  Yes we had a television and cable.  No we were not allowed to watch TV on school days – or any time that we could possibly be safely playing outside.
                I’ve probably watched four or five episodes of Full House in my life time.  I didn’t know who Bob Saget was until he hosted America’ Funniest Home Videos.  Not once have I seen an episode of Saved by the Bell, Growing Pains or Who’s The Boss

                It’s become a game, almost for friends of mine.  Let’s see how many things Rachel truly has never seen.  And every time it’s the same thing –

“Did you see….?”
“You know I did not”
“You didn’t see…?!?!?!”

And don’t even get me started on movies.  Boyfriend got Netflix last winter and thought he’d try and catch me up – till I started asking half-way through them “how much longer is this?”  Considering my attention span is approximately 75 minutes in length.  Give or take a truly captivating story line.  Well that and I’m slightly more selective about movies than he is.

                We grew up on Disney movies, Saturday morning cartoons, School House Rock and Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?  (I loved Carmen Sandiego.)  We watched reruns - old school Batman with Adam West, Gilligan’s Island and Flipper.  (I loved Flipper.)

                I did make the effort to catch up on all Boy Meets World episodes my freshman year of college- and thanks to VH1’s I Love the 90's series I’ve accumulated more than a few necessary visual and cultural trends.   So if you don’t feel like providing me with detailed explanations, I suggest you limit your references to Boy Meets World.  Or Disney movies.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Curb Your Enthusiasm

I have an aversion to exclamation points.  I do my best not to use them.  Best case scenario they’ll pop up once  a quarter.  Worst case, I’d say one a month.  Even when considering the quantity of communicating I do electronically I feel it is imperative to avoid them.  

I’m not a particularly enthusiastic person.  

 “Rachel, are you excited to go see the Yankees this week?”

I feel as though my any written communication should relay my tone for the recipient.  That and although I prefer proper grammar as a rule – I do tend to write this blog, any non-work related email and text *exactly* as it sounds in my head.  Therefore things that really make me happy are illustrated differently.

Instead I choose to utilize extra words (super) and modify spelling (vowels only) to demonstrate interest. 

“I reeeeeeeally want some cookie dough ice cream.

“It would be super if Dairy Queen delivered Blizzards.”  

Additionally as a flair for the dramatic I like to end statements in “right this second.”

“I wish there was some ice cream in my freezer right this second.”

And sometimes.  I just write out the words.

“Exclamation Point.”

They do sneak into my writing from time to time.  Ya know, if I’m super upset about something.  And they are, in fact, acceptable in the form of “!?” 

And if necessary – when there are not enough words in the English language to articulate a specific emotion I will include them in parenthesis (!!) 

Otherwise I’ll leave their usage to those much more animated than I. 

Friday, October 8, 2010

Do These Shoes Make my Butt Look Big?

            I have an, apparently unsubstantiated, opinion that round toe shoes could make me look heavier than I am.  

I LOVE shoes.  Like if I had those million dollars; after I went to Australia and probably while I was there.  I’d buy shoes.  And clothes.  But that’s not what’s important today.

                I also have an appreciation animal print.  Not all that particular concerning which animal.  But I’ve liked it since I was a kid and some things never change. 

                I found $20 shoes, (since I don’t have a million dollars) and because I have to take into consideration this Shoe Equation, with the cutest snakeskin heel.  They also, unfortunately have a round toe.  I have bought one other rounded toe pair of shoes before but that was out of desperation and I had a time constraint.  Typically I buy pointy.  I have teeny-tiny feet.  A pointy a little extra shoe isn’t a bad thing.

                Which leads me to today’s issue – I wore the new shoes with jeans (hooray jeans day!!).  I’ve spent the whole day feeling like I look chubby.  Now as I’m not typically insecure about such things – I’m going to blame these shoes for revealing the fact that I wear my pants too long. Thus, distorting my self-image.

Irrational? Maybe.  I’m a crazy person? Probably.  But from now on, these shoes must be worn with skirts only.

A not super clear example of the shoes in question