Friday, April 29, 2011

Sweet Home Alabama

One time, I visited two of my most favorite people in the whole entire world, in Alabama.  That was a few years ago.  They took me on a tour of the area.  Showed me the Alabama campus where Em attended and where her heart is.

Today, she emailed pleading for help after her college town was demolished by a tornado earlier this week - suggesting that donating to the Red Cross Disaster Relief is the best way we can physically help out.

So - while we're all grateful that Em and Cliff are safe and sound, maybe you have a few extra dollars this week (after all, it is Pay Day) to chip in and help some strangers who lost everything they own in this world?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

End of an Era

                Well.  It’s official.  After half a decade, 110,000 miles (80% of which were probably accumulated on the 90), one car accident, two speeding tickets, one smashed in passenger window per the crack head in Delaware Park and 47 jump starts, I bought a new vehicle.  Goodbye Tucson, hello glorified Tucson.  Ok not really, but kind of.  I bought a Honda CR-V.  Which is like a better Tucson for all intents and purposes?  Except with all those neat features that the Tucson doesn’t have like starting when I turn the key.
                Boyfriend tells me that some poor high school student is going to go to an auction somewhere and end up buying the Tucson for like five dollars or something. I'm still hoping someone lets me light it on fire. Just in case they don't, I’m thinking I need to provide the next owner with a disclaimer or at least a revision to the owner’s manual.  And a set of complimentary jumper cables.  It would look something like this:

                Hope you like it super hot or super cold – the fan only works on HIGH.

Find a significant other who follows you to your job and to school and pretty much anywhere you might have to turn the car off and go inside and need to turn it on again to leave. 

Sorry about the Oxy-Clean in the cargo area and there may or may not be throw up in the passenger side door.  You can thank my boyfriend for that.  I know I did.

You will need a set of jumper cables, a spare battery and probably you should just go ahead and hire your own mechanic to ride with you everywhere.

You’re welcome for the new, upgraded radio.  Some Tucson problem solving internet board lied to me and said that would fix the battery issues so I bought that one.

As far as the “holy sh**” handle on the passenger side goes? That inexplicably fell and smacked my friend in the face one day.  It’s now in the compartment in the door – maybe super glue will help.

The tires are crap.  That’s why you have this car now and not me.  Get some new ones.

I used to have a key chain clicker.  That’s gone the way of the dinosaur.  Doesn’t matter much anyway – the locks only work when they feel like it.  Usually you have to go around all Flintstone-like, climbing over seats to let people in.

The left turn signal has started to choose when it will click off after completing the turn.  Remember this and don’t be ‘that guy’ who drives around making everyone think he’s about to make a left hand turn into oncoming traffic or the river.

I think that’s about all the tricks of the trade.  Guess it was about time to get a new, dependable vehicle.  Boyfriend confirmed with something like “I’m not jumping that thing one more time, you're going to start something on fire.”  All I know is the next Tucson owner should not plan to go farther than walking distance from their home.  So long Tucson, I’m on to smaller and shinier things. 

The Tucson's Successor

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Almost Famous...?

         So today I hop on YouTube to listen to some music in my continuing effort to drown out the Cupid Shuffle and on my recommended videos I see this: 

                            Yes, that is, in fact, me.  I obv sent it to Boyfriend who replied with:

“You still make that frown face.”
“For the record.”
What. Ever.
I always tell Boyfriend that I used to be on tv. 

                Now to explain: for those of you unfamiliar with early 90’s NY capital district tv programming – which, ironically enough, I am not familiar with any other programming aside from these commercials.  My father made them.  He needed kids.  We were kids.  We were in the commercials.  My brother got lucky enough to hide under a sheet.  Even though he kept poking his fingers through.  But I didn’t even get to really wear the mask.  Apparently I needed to be upset that the fat guy was eating all my candy.  And since we weren’t allowed to trick or treat the whole concept was foreign to me anyway and that’s how you end up with the frown face seen here.

                There was one day we had to ride the carousel at the mall for like four hours straight.  I never rode that thing again after.  And one day we had to go to Fort William Henry during the off season and apparently they keep dogs there to guard and we had to pay more attention to not step in dog crap than we could to whatever commercial we were supposed to be a part of.  Thankfully I don’t think any of these have made it into circulation and I’m hoping those VHS’ are packed away under lock and key somewhere in my parent’s basement.

                In summary, I’m not only a world famous blogger – with the overwhelming popularity of 13 followers, I am also 200-something hits on YouTube worth of awesome and I know you all are jealous.  And in my defense – I had PANTS on that day.  The socks would not have been visible if I had not had to tuck the pants up under the costume.  The haircut we won’t talk about, I can't explain the sneakers and the teeth got fixed with a year and a half of braces.  

Thursday, April 7, 2011


                This week has been the kind of week that I just thought every day after Monday was Friday and have been continually disappointed when I come to realize that this is not, in fact, the case.  Today was the kind of morning that I ironed one thing - didn’t like it, tried three different shirts, ran out of time and ended up in skinny black pants and flats with a bath robe sweater.  And these kinds of outfits are typically reserved for Fridays, and since tomorrow is actually a 50% off jeans day at the office I chose to wear this today – thus compounding my state of confusion as to what day today is. (It’s Thursday.)  And now as this day has dragged by, I can’t believe I have to come here (here = work) again tomorrow.

                I should have known it was going to be a long week when I chose to stay up till 1:15am watching Mildred Pierce on HBO – which is one of those disappointing shows that you can’t turn off during, but are not pleased you watched the whole thing when it’s over.  You know the type – and there’s still one part left of the mini-series so since I made it this far I’m going to have to go ahead and find out how it all ends.  Even though I wiki-ed it and I already know how it all ends.

                Then on Tuesday it snowed.  Not like accumulation snow.  But it snowed all day.  And the news people so kindly reminded me that this time last year it was a balmy 80 – something degrees (quite atypical of Buffalo, NY but nonetheless desired by all.)  So I told Boyfriend we had to move to warmer weather and he said Tampa. I Tampa and it was supposed to be in the 80’s there all week and a high of 87 by Thursday.  I told him we had to be there by Thursday.  But after looking at like six houses online in our price range and hating all of their kitchens I informed him he had to pick a different city.  So that’s a work in progress since the day is almost over and we didn’t move yet.  Plus – he has this policy: No moving to geographic regions where adverse weather conditions could result in him coming home to no house.  And since Florida has hurricanes and hurricanes can take away houses we’re not allowed to go there.   So I don’t know why he said Tampa in the first place.  I don’t think he was taking me seriously.  I’m actually pretty sure he never takes me seriously. 

                The highlight of my week was that this semester’s worst class ever lasted only one hour last night.  So I chose to continue my training for half-marathon training with the unexpected free time.  But I’m tired of running on a treadmill so I switched to the elliptical and some guy who didn’t choose deodorant yesterday insisted on standing directly in front of my machine to watch the basketball game on tv till I started coughing obnoxiously till he got the hint and went back to where ever it was that he came from and I could finish my workout without passing out from trying not to breathe.

                Now it’s the end of another work day.  I already had anxiety over what’s for dinner, read a couple hundred recipes and settled on sloppy joes or chicken a la king.  Boyfriend chose sloppy joes.  And since all I want in the whole entire world is a hot dog off the grill.  But I’m not allowed to have that per the snow and the coldness because Boyfriend will not suffer though inclement weather to grill me one even after I suggested he grill it in the garage so the above would no longer be an issue – sloppy joes it is.

                Anyway – hope your week has gone faster than mine has.  Weekend plans anyone?  It is supposed to finally reach springish temperature here.  Hopefully we can walk the dog – I’m tired of watching him pace around the house. Ohhh – and maybe we can grill that hot dog too?

That right there is the recipe for a great hot dog - except the relish goes in the middle.  Not on top of the ketchup.