Socks vs. Slippers

Here in Western New York it’s gone from HOTTTTT to FREEZING in what seems like a matter of hours.  I hate coldness.  Seriously.  Why do I live in Buffalo then?  There are many theories and no good way to answer that so I won’t bother.  Instead I’d like to discuss a few management techniques that get me through winter and back to summer when the world is right again.  And yes, I realize it is not even the first day of fall.  But as soon as I get chilled for the first time, it’s all over for me.  This has already happened.

Mornings:

I find slippers to be a better idea conceptually than they turn out to be in real life.  They are not comfortable for me to lounge around in.  And when I get up to move somewhere I forget to put them on.  Therefore, I don’t own slippers, and anyway, sleep in socks.  Even so, getting out of bed is unbearable.   The only choice is to race to the bathroom and click on the portable heater so it can turn my bathroom into a sauna immediately, making getting out of the shower much more comfortable than getting out of bed.   Needless to say, I pretty much stay in the bathroom as long as I can before venturing out to finish getting ready for work in the mornings.

At Work:

I freeze.  I’m talking close to hypothermia kind of freezing.   Layers do not help.  Heat walls keep all their heat to themselves. Hot drinks turn lukewarm instantly.  There is no solution.

Evenings at Home:

Generally I manage the decrease in temperature by carrying around the aforementioned portable heater and sitting on the floor directly in front of it.  I lay a blanket over me and the heater and create a toasty little tent for myself.  This is not practical – and also, probably not all that safe. 

Sleeping:

Electric Blanket.  That’s the only right answer.  It does, however, perpetuate the horribleness that is, getting out of bed in the morning.  Unfortunately, my old faithful on from high school called it quits at the end of the last cold season.  So I’m on a hunt to replace her.  And per the weather report, I need to sooner rather than later. 

If all else fails slash the preferred method:

HIBERNATE until SPRING.

Here's to a pleasant fall and a short winter.