Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Burning Love

                As we all know, Valentine’s Day was last week.  Did you have a good one?  What did you do?  I need ideas for next year, and the year after.
               Personally, I’m a fan of any day Boyfriend feels obligated to bring me flowers.  He’s always been good about celebrating this girly day with me and this year was no exception.  Forgoing crowded restaurants over the weekend and definitely on Tuesday he suggested doing crab legs at home.  I’m pretty sure there is no better meal than king crab legs.

                What I didn’t know was king crab legs cost $27/lb to buy them.  So I’m standing in the store, staring at the price tag and considering what kind of effort it is going to require, on my part, to eat these particular crab legs.  Now after Christmas we went to Shimshacks per a Christmas gift certificate from Boyfriend’s mom and got their Viking platter of seafood for like $75. (Marilyn Monroe and Joe D ate there.  It's charming in it's own, teal colored way.) On this platter we got a pound of crab, hot AND cracked for us, four lobster tails, and shrimp scampi.  Plus it included two salads and two appetizers that were also sea food. 

                Instead, we decided to grab two lobster tails and two bacon wrapped filets, at a more ideal price point.  Boyfriend mans the seafood, my job is to cook everything else.  That’s how it’s always been, that may not be how it remains. 

                I had never done steaks, and especially a bacon wrapped filets, in the house. Ever.  Obv while the lobster tails defrosted I Googled what I was supposed to do.  I’m not one to take a single website at it’s first word so I cross checked the recommendations against three or four websites.  It said, heat pan with oil and sear each side of the filet for three minutes before finishing in the oven.  On it.

                I watch a lot of Food Network.   These shows have taught me to never put fish or meat in a cold pan.  Cold pans = sticking.  I know this. 

                Boyfriend threw the lobster in to heat up.  And I had the filets out to warm to room temperature.  I turned my pan on to medium high.  Waited a minute, added my oil to fill the bottom of the pan, dropped in my filet to sear it and got two feet of flames.   Literally.  Twenty-four inches.  Licking up around the microwave that is the hood of my stove.  Boyfriend grabbed the pan so now we’re both standing in the middle of the kitchen, him holding fire, me trying to decide if it’s going to go down on its own or how to get to the baking soda, which is on the other side of the flames, in the pantry.
                After about 30 seconds we’ve figured out that grease fires do not, in fact, go out on their own and I would have to get the baking soda.  I ducked around the flames, grabbed the baking soda and threw it over his shoulder putting out the fire.  I consider myself a hero.  Boyfriend does not agree. But somehow, I managed to not completely cover the filet in baking soda when I doused the fire and since I’m a good girlfriend and choose to eat the less fortunate steak always, my stomach votes hero.  I should give him credit though, for not just throwing out my dinner.

                After further review, I learned that butter is the better choice for steak searing purposes.  And then my BFF told me, one week late, I am supposed to put the oil in a COLD pan and let them heat up together.  Welldoesn’tthatjustmakeawholellotofsense.  Thanks a lot internet for not being specific on A.) the amount of oil to be used. B.) when to add said oil. Also, news to me, apparently you need a minuscule amount of oil.

                So.  Now I know.

                I chose not to sear his filet and just toss that little guy in the oven.  He chose to give me a side-eye and judge me every 30 seconds for the next two days.  I also suggested we choose not to light the candles on our dining room table for the romantic dinner.  I do, however, say yes to Federal Meats for providing me with melt-in-your-mouth dinner even for those who are not particularly talented in preparing them.

                I may have deserved the side-eye - our house smelled of bonfire for the next two whole days.

Salvageable?  I say yes.  He says no.  Please vote.
               Also - he was way cute and super thoughtful and got me some new jams.  Apparently I tend to “look like a homeless person for sleeping.”  I’m certain I don’t know why that would be a problem, but I’ll take some cute jams as an acceptable alternative.

                But, it was kind of my idea.  I may or may not have asked for these a month ago as a joke.  He said my idea needed some modification.  He might be right.  He also said that he would not buy me those for Valentine's Day because “you would look like Ralphie from A Christmas Story".  Sooo...are you saying that's not sexy?  Maybe I can get some hoodie-footies next time. 
 Cross your fingers.



  1. That Viking seafood platter sounds amazing!! I'll have to go to that restaurant one day.
    Good thing you were quick thinking about the baking soda. I'm not immune to kitchen mishaps and David judges me too, for a couple days (or more) after they happen. And I went to Culinary school (just SCCC....ha).

  2. So you're saying cooking class is not the solution? I super want to take one.