End of an Era

                Well.  It’s official.  After half a decade, 110,000 miles (80% of which were probably accumulated on the 90), one car accident, two speeding tickets, one smashed in passenger window per the crack head in Delaware Park and 47 jump starts, I bought a new vehicle.  Goodbye Tucson, hello glorified Tucson.  Ok not really, but kind of.  I bought a Honda CR-V.  Which is like a better Tucson for all intents and purposes?  Except with all those neat features that the Tucson doesn’t have like starting when I turn the key.

 

                Boyfriend tells me that some poor high school student is going to go to an auction somewhere and end up buying the Tucson for like five dollars or something. I'm still hoping someone lets me light it on fire. Just in case they don't, I’m thinking I need to provide the next owner with a disclaimer or at least a revision to the owner’s manual.  And a set of complimentary jumper cables.  It would look something like this:

                Hope you like it super hot or super cold – the fan only works on HIGH.

Find a significant other who follows you to your job and to school and pretty much anywhere you might have to turn the car off and go inside and need to turn it on again to leave. 

Sorry about the Oxy-Clean in the cargo area and there may or may not be throw up in the passenger side door.  You can thank my boyfriend for that.  I know I did.

You will need a set of jumper cables, a spare battery and probably you should just go ahead and hire your own mechanic to ride with you everywhere.

You’re welcome for the new, upgraded radio.  Some Tucson problem solving internet board lied to me and said that would fix the battery issues so I bought that one.

As far as the “holy sh**” handle on the passenger side goes? That inexplicably fell and smacked my friend in the face one day.  It’s now in the compartment in the door – maybe super glue will help.

The tires are crap.  That’s why you have this car now and not me.  Get some new ones.

I used to have a key chain clicker.  That’s gone the way of the dinosaur.  Doesn’t matter much anyway – the locks only work when they feel like it.  Usually you have to go around all Flintstone-like, climbing over seats to let people in.

The left turn signal has started to choose when it will click off after completing the turn.  Remember this and don’t be ‘that guy’ who drives around making everyone think he’s about to make a left hand turn into oncoming traffic or the river.

I think that’s about all the tricks of the trade.  Guess it was about time to get a new, dependable vehicle.  Boyfriend confirmed with something like “I’m not jumping that thing one more time, you're going to start something on fire.”  All I know is the next Tucson owner should not plan to go farther than walking distance from their home.  So long Tucson, I’m on to smaller and shinier things. 

The Tucson's Successor

Almost Famous...?

         So today I hop on YouTube to listen to some music in my continuing effort to drown out the Cupid Shuffle and on my recommended videos I see this: 

                            Yes, that is, in fact, me.  I obv sent it to Boyfriend who replied with:

“You still make that frown face.”

“For the record.”

What. Ever.

I always tell Boyfriend that I used to be on tv. 

                Now to explain: for those of you unfamiliar with early 90’s NY capital district tv programming – which, ironically enough, I am not familiar with any other programming aside from these commercials.  My father made them.  He needed kids.  We were kids.  We were in the commercials.  My brother got lucky enough to hide under a sheet.  Even though he kept poking his fingers through.  But I didn’t even get to really wear the mask.  Apparently I needed to be upset that the fat guy was eating all my candy.  And since we weren’t allowed to trick or treat the whole concept was foreign to me anyway and that’s how you end up with the frown face seen here.

                There was one day we had to ride the carousel at the mall for like four hours straight.  I never rode that thing again after.  And one day we had to go to Fort William Henry during the off season and apparently they keep dogs there to guard and we had to pay more attention to not step in dog crap than we could to whatever commercial we were supposed to be a part of.  Thankfully I don’t think any of these have made it into circulation and I’m hoping those VHS’ are packed away under lock and key somewhere in my parent’s basement.

                In summary, I’m not only a world famous blogger – with the overwhelming popularity of 13 followers, I am also 200-something hits on YouTube worth of awesome and I know you all are jealous.  And in my defense – I had PANTS on that day.  The socks would not have been visible if I had not had to tuck the pants up under the costume.  The haircut we won’t talk about, I can't explain the sneakers and the teeth got fixed with a year and a half of braces.  

TGI.....T?

                This week has been the kind of week that I just thought every day after Monday was Friday and have been continually disappointed when I come to realize that this is not, in fact, the case.  Today was the kind of morning that I ironed one thing - didn’t like it, tried three different shirts, ran out of time and ended up in skinny black pants and flats with a bath robe sweater.  And these kinds of outfits are typically reserved for Fridays, and since tomorrow is actually a 50% off jeans day at the office I chose to wear this today – thus compounding my state of confusion as to what day today is. (It’s Thursday.)  And now as this day has dragged by, I can’t believe I have to come here (here = work) again tomorrow.

                I should have known it was going to be a long week when I chose to stay up till 1:15am watching Mildred Pierce on HBO – which is one of those disappointing shows that you can’t turn off during, but are not pleased you watched the whole thing when it’s over.  You know the type – and there’s still one part left of the mini-series so since I made it this far I’m going to have to go ahead and find out how it all ends.  Even though I wiki-ed it and I already know how it all ends.

                Then on Tuesday it snowed.  Not like accumulation snow.  But it snowed all day.  And the news people so kindly reminded me that this time last year it was a balmy 80 – something degrees (quite atypical of Buffalo, NY but nonetheless desired by all.)  So I told Boyfriend we had to move to warmer weather and he said Tampa. I weather.com-ed Tampa and it was supposed to be in the 80’s there all week and a high of 87 by Thursday.  I told him we had to be there by Thursday.  But after looking at like six houses online in our price range and hating all of their kitchens I informed him he had to pick a different city.  So that’s a work in progress since the day is almost over and we didn’t move yet.  Plus – he has this policy: No moving to geographic regions where adverse weather conditions could result in him coming home to no house.  And since Florida has hurricanes and hurricanes can take away houses we’re not allowed to go there.   So I don’t know why he said Tampa in the first place.  I don’t think he was taking me seriously.  I’m actually pretty sure he never takes me seriously. 

                The highlight of my week was that this semester’s worst class ever lasted only one hour last night.  So I chose to continue my training for half-marathon training with the unexpected free time.  But I’m tired of running on a treadmill so I switched to the elliptical and some guy who didn’t choose deodorant yesterday insisted on standing directly in front of my machine to watch the basketball game on tv till I started coughing obnoxiously till he got the hint and went back to where ever it was that he came from and I could finish my workout without passing out from trying not to breathe.

                Now it’s the end of another work day.  I already had anxiety over what’s for dinner, read a couple hundred recipes and settled on sloppy joes or chicken a la king.  Boyfriend chose sloppy joes.  And since all I want in the whole entire world is a hot dog off the grill.  But I’m not allowed to have that per the snow and the coldness because Boyfriend will not suffer though inclement weather to grill me one even after I suggested he grill it in the garage so the above would no longer be an issue – sloppy joes it is.

                Anyway – hope your week has gone faster than mine has.  Weekend plans anyone?  It is supposed to finally reach springish temperature here.  Hopefully we can walk the dog – I’m tired of watching him pace around the house. Ohhh – and maybe we can grill that hot dog too?

That right there is the recipe for a great hot dog - except the relish goes in the middle.  Not on top of the ketchup.

I Made These Last Night...You Should Make Them Today

                 Creeped some blogs yesterday.   (Google Chrome is telling me 'creeped' is not a word. But if OMG and LOL got added to the Oxford Dictionary I feel like I can say creeped if I want to.)  Found this one and subsequently this recipe.  Yes - those are, in fact, cupcakes with cookie dough inside.  I made them last night.  You might want to tonight.   All the people in your life will love you forever if you do.  I managed to use a bit less brown sugar in the cupcakes – not on purpose but because I can’t follow a recipe apparently.  But no one has seemed to notice. 

                And since it’s not Friday and this is not a regularly scheduled blog post.  That’s all I’ve got.  But seriously.  You should all make these magical cupcakes.

Her blog post's photos are far superior to my Blackberry shot.   But they taste even better than they look.

Hodge Podge

Ok – so I did a total revamp on the blog.  Questions? Comments? Concerns?    Please don’t have concerns – it literally took me like five hours to settle on this background.  I was looking for something less snow-flakey because snow is depressing at any time of the year and I’m honestly not sure why I chose something that resembled snowflakes in the first place.  And it’s nearly impossible to find something reasonable for a background for me because I think they’re all silly.  But whatev.  I settled on this one.  Please don’t hate it.

I’m contemplating running a half-marathon with my sister this fall.  More questions, comments, or concerns?  My concerns are these:   I don’t think I’ll train well by myself.  My headphones don’t stay in my ears when I run.  Could buy different headphones but I’m pretty sure my ears are oddly shaped because this has been an eternal problem.  I must have music to exercise.  There is no way around that.  If it stops I stop.  Seriously.  I can’t even stretch without it.  But I just ordered new running shoes.  New shoes seem to be an excellent motivator.  And I have all summer to train.  So even flying solo I suppose I should give it a shot. 

Plus we’re rounding into wedding season here – which means I need to start getting skinny like yesterday.  Except yesterday we made steak sandwiches and I totally burned Boyfriend’s roll in the toaster oven (like the roll had flames coming out of it) and watched The Office instead of going to the gym.   And I don’t even follow The Office – I just love a good proposal story.  So maybe gym tomorrow.  Maybe.  We also watched Parks and Recreation – and Boyfriend laughs hysterically every time that April girl speak.  He swears she must be my long lost twin and to be honest – I can’t really disagree with him. 

How’s that for a hodge podge of a post?  I don’t usually like hodge podges – unless I’m the first one in line.  I don’t want people sneezing and coughing on food before I get to it.  But in this case it’s been a long week, there is no food involved and I have A.D.D. today - so any chance of a more coherent post was gone before I even got out of bed this morning. Whatever.  Happy weekend.

This is April.  She told a babbling brook to 'shut up' last night while camping.  Which sounds like nothing I would do?

The Walking City

Apparently Boston is called “The Walking City.”  I just learned this.  I should have Googled before I flew there because I totally did not bring the necessary footwear to participate in this weekend’s activities.  Actually I probably should have bought those weird get in shape by walking around sneakers that everyone makes now because I’m pretty sure my butt would look awesome.  But – I didn’t know.  And in my first attempt ever to pack light – I only brought four – yes four – pairs of shoes for my weekend.  Two of which, thankfully were flats.  Actually I probably did bring the appropriate footwear we just decided to walk further than we should have making even the flat shoes – since neither pair were sneakers – less than ideal.

Sister and I got up Saturday morning to head to my cousin’s surprise Bridal Shower.  She was determined to not move her car from where she had finally parked it the night before and Google maps on the BB said it was a twenty-three minute walk.  So we decided to go for it.  Me in heels.  Her in heels.  Me with flats in my giant purse slash school bag.  Her carrying a giant red bag of gifts that we obviously forgot to buy a card for – for the second time in so many showers.  But she did stick some ribbons on that were slightly damaged because my niece had spent some time with them in her mouth.  And we may or may not have dropped the whole thing trying to ‘wrap’ it on the street.  But since we bought cookie sheets and a giant cupcake cake pan – no harm, no foul.  (Sorry Meghan.)

Well after about two blocks uphill I realized my shoes had to go – or we would never make it.  We also realized that Google maps had lied to us and this twenty-three minute walk was a bit of a miscalculation.  But – we couldn’t go back now.  We walked about forty-five minutes, made it to the restaurant sweating and exhausted about ten minutes before my cousin got there.  One Blood Mary, a slice of cake and a couple hours later – we were offered a ride back to where we were staying.  Gratefully we accepted.

Well the next event started sooner than we expected so we just had time to change our outfits and start walking again.  This time – confident of the BB’s GPS calculation of one mile.  Well after a slight detour to find coffee we arrived at our destination.  Upon arrival – and some mild jealousy of the caffeine we were consuming we left again to retrace our steps and acquire one more cup of coffee. 

Later that evening after all the festivities were over – it was time for Sister and I to walk that one mile back to where we were sleeping.  This time both of us were still in heels.  And it may or may not have been approaching 2am.  We got within two blocks of the house and Sister threw in the towel, hailed a cab which drove us the one and a half blocks to the door.  A wise $3 dollar investment all things considered.  And no, we did not remember to look up and find the super moon during our trip home. 

The next day before my flight out I had to avoid the parade to find a cab.  Which apparently the parade is some kind of big deal in South Boston.  And I definitely don’t get it – I mean why would I want to stand in the freezing coldness to watch some grown men drive around in lawn mowers they’ve converted into tiny Mack trucks? And I don’t like loud noises (especially post bachelorette party – more on that later), so the sirens and the horns were just miserable.  And then on top of all that people are throwing candy at me.  I don’t want candy that got thrown on the ground.  And I don’t want candy to hit me in the face either. Anyway.  Parades are dumb.  That’s all I know. 

  And in an effort to leave the city I had to walk some more -carrying my bag - to find a cab.  When I finally found one – he told me he can’t go to Logan airport and made me get out.  Awesome.

The next cab driver was a kinder – more chatty man.  Which I can assure you I was in no condition to chat.  But he insisted on telling me that he drives Derek Jeter and other celebrities around all week long and never once has requested a “signature.” Ok.  And then he almost killed us and he must have seen my face because he then proceeded to attempt to reassure me that he was a good driver and that him driving faster saves me money because of the meter.  Ok.  But saving money means nothing if you drive me into a truck or a lamp post or the ocean. 

While in the cab the radio told me that Boston was called “The Walking City.”  And I’m just telling you - so you can remember that - the next time you think it’s a good idea to carry on a bag for the first time in your life and not pack enough shoe options.  Which, the carrying on thing totally didn’t work out for me because I rode one of those smaller US Airways planes and they ‘gate check’ your bag anyway and I had to wait just as long for it when I got there. Anyway - super fun weekend in Boston.  And many congrats to the beautiful Bride-to-Be. 

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad...Friday

I’m so not a morning person.  Boyfriend and I typically don’t speak after we get up till we kiss each other good-bye if it’s avoidable.  And if he does say something I usually can’t muster up the enthusiasm to respond.  You might think when a Friday rolls around I would adjust my attitude.  Alas, for as those who spoke with me this morning know, Friday makes me no more cheery than any other day of the week.  But today, today was one of those days that made me think I probably should have stopped by the pharmacy drive thru on my way to work to see if they had an extra Prozac lying around.  Fridays are supposed to be the best day of the work week.  This particular Friday failed to live up to expectations.  Here’s why:

I woke up to the realization that I did not get to wear jeans to work today.  Meant I had to iron pants.  I don’t like ironing on Fridays. So I just tossed my pants in the dryer with some towels for 5 mins.

Boyfriend said I had to go to work.  I told him to ask his boss for a raise so I don’t have to go there.  He says me working is part of this deal.  Fine.

Got to work.  New Guy – still don’t know his name – starts crying via Instant Message about me hurting his feelings for not wanting to be his best friend in the whole entire world.  Or maybe he wanted me to do his work for him.  Something like that.  Either way - do I look like I’m here to make friends?   This was when the Prozac would have helped.  I managed to not offer him a tampon even un-medicated. 

I didn’t go tanning on lunch.  I worked through lunch.

I went to use the bathroom – learned I’d not chosen to zip my zipper last time I’d been there hours before.  I’m not four years old.  I should be able to remember how to get dressed.  (I blame New Guy for killing my brain cells with his stupid commentary.)  Good thing I never take my jacket off and it covered this little faux pas.  Thank you North Face for preserving my dignity. 

My office mate then played the Cupid Shuffle for like the 65465753745435753453756^th time since Shannon’s B-Party last summer – forcing me to then dig out my headphones that I hadn’t bothered finding yet so I can drown out this insufferable repetition.    This is not an "at work" song.  This is an "at the bar" song.  Correction.  This was an "at the bar" song.  Like five years ago.

I think that’s all.  Unless some b-word thinks I want to Tango on the 190 on the way home.  Can’t wait to do this all over again next week.  Happy rainy weekend everyone.

*note – I’m totally not on any mood altering prescriptions.  But I bet some people in my life wouldn’t stand opposed. 

I'm pretty sure this was what New Guy looked like for like 3 hours this morning. Except he's not dreamy.  I think Dawson is supposed to be dreamy?  I don't know.  I never watched that show.