The *New* Office

                A lot has happened since I stopped writing.  Last I left off I’d just gotten a new J-O-B. This is where I’d like to discuss the difference between corporate America and a small company.

                I am, in my opinion, a small company kind of girl. I grew up in a small town, I went to a small high school, and I chose a small college because big schools scared me.  And then I jumped into big ol’ corporate America.  Hung out there for four-ish years and then I needed to get the crap out. 

                Things I learned about small offices:

1.       You can’t use the Keurig and the microwave at the same time.

a.       The key that unlocks the front door also unlocks the utility closet where the circuit breaker is.

2.       Getting hungry at 3pm is worse when there is no vending machine on site.

3.       Can we get two “WOOTs” for a small parking lot and short walks in the cold?

4.       Hooray for my own office with a view of the pond and the geese and the deer.

a.       Boo for the people in the other office who bring their dogs to work and let them out in front of my window.

5.       Yay for Christmas parties in Boston with delicious dinners.

a.       Yay for not having to fly out the next morning wholeentireday, giving ourselves time to sightsee recover

6.       My Boss complimented my work.  I couldn’t even remember what that sounded like.

7.       The thermostat is conveniently located close to my office door.

8.       My office came supplied with speakers – oh sure I’ll listen to SiriusXM all day long.  If you insist.

9.       This new job put a bright spot on an otherwise less than awesome year for us.

10.   Apparently it’s up to me or my boss (she’s shorter than me) to lift the five gallon jug of water into the cooler.

11.   The bathroom sitch – much improved.  Can we say sharing three stalls with like 50 women is theworstthingever?

12.   I only have to talk to like two people every day. *heaven*

Some people (my boyfriend) write off small companies.  I say the benefits seem to outweigh the disadvantages. This is a preliminary decision but stay tuned,  I’m willing to report back any and all compliments and parties from the new company.

Now…what to do with these empty white walls?

Source: luxeandlillies.blogspot.com via Nora on Pinterest

If only I could paint.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad...Friday

I’m so not a morning person.  Boyfriend and I typically don’t speak after we get up till we kiss each other good-bye if it’s avoidable.  And if he does say something I usually can’t muster up the enthusiasm to respond.  You might think when a Friday rolls around I would adjust my attitude.  Alas, for as those who spoke with me this morning know, Friday makes me no more cheery than any other day of the week.  But today, today was one of those days that made me think I probably should have stopped by the pharmacy drive thru on my way to work to see if they had an extra Prozac lying around.  Fridays are supposed to be the best day of the work week.  This particular Friday failed to live up to expectations.  Here’s why:

I woke up to the realization that I did not get to wear jeans to work today.  Meant I had to iron pants.  I don’t like ironing on Fridays. So I just tossed my pants in the dryer with some towels for 5 mins.

Boyfriend said I had to go to work.  I told him to ask his boss for a raise so I don’t have to go there.  He says me working is part of this deal.  Fine.

Got to work.  New Guy – still don’t know his name – starts crying via Instant Message about me hurting his feelings for not wanting to be his best friend in the whole entire world.  Or maybe he wanted me to do his work for him.  Something like that.  Either way - do I look like I’m here to make friends?   This was when the Prozac would have helped.  I managed to not offer him a tampon even un-medicated. 

I didn’t go tanning on lunch.  I worked through lunch.

I went to use the bathroom – learned I’d not chosen to zip my zipper last time I’d been there hours before.  I’m not four years old.  I should be able to remember how to get dressed.  (I blame New Guy for killing my brain cells with his stupid commentary.)  Good thing I never take my jacket off and it covered this little faux pas.  Thank you North Face for preserving my dignity. 

My office mate then played the Cupid Shuffle for like the 65465753745435753453756^th time since Shannon’s B-Party last summer – forcing me to then dig out my headphones that I hadn’t bothered finding yet so I can drown out this insufferable repetition.    This is not an "at work" song.  This is an "at the bar" song.  Correction.  This was an "at the bar" song.  Like five years ago.

I think that’s all.  Unless some b-word thinks I want to Tango on the 190 on the way home.  Can’t wait to do this all over again next week.  Happy rainy weekend everyone.

*note – I’m totally not on any mood altering prescriptions.  But I bet some people in my life wouldn’t stand opposed. 

I'm pretty sure this was what New Guy looked like for like 3 hours this morning. Except he's not dreamy.  I think Dawson is supposed to be dreamy?  I don't know.  I never watched that show.

 

The Office

                Who doesn’t love a little office drama?  I hate to admit it – but sometimes I get a kick out of it.  I’ve never been an avid follower of “The Office.”  Caught an episode or three from time to time but for the most part I find Steve Carrel’s character too irritating.  I know, I know – how could I say such a thing?  Can’t be sure really.  (I also don’t prefer Will Ferrell.)   But the episodes I have seen are masterful really.  And yes, I do realize that by definition, sit coms are situational humor, making them identifiable to the majority of the viewing audience but just roll with me on this for a bit.  

                If any of you do or ever have worked in an office building you understand the conversations have, topically, really not changed much since high school.  It’s a regular gossip mill.  And if you were to just so happen to be lucky enough, as I am, to work with 90% women – well you can imagine the chaos.  Now, what happens when you introduce a new character to this cast?  And suppose they were to provide you with a abundance of material for everyone to – I’ll go with ‘chat’- about?  And let’s just say any hints made to encourage behavioral adjustments to help assimilate with the office culture go disregarded? And he’s male? Well I’m sure you get the idea.

                Anyway, these past few weeks have been downright hilarious.  It amazes me how clueless some people (read New Guy*) can be.  And it’s super annoying.  And deliciously entertaining.  And I feel like Jim from “The Office” sitting there contributing commentary as I observe those around me - except I'm way less clever than Jim.  But hey, would work be horribly boring if all we did there was – work?

*Names have been changed to protect people’s identities.  That and I honestly can’t remember the kid’s name since I’ve only referred to him as New Guy.